One, two, three

What an odd title don’t you think? But this one little word is what drives the world and our existence. When I was younger, numbers did not really mean anything, except number 1. From a young age, I learned that number 1 is the ultimate. It also made me feel elated when I was number in my class, number 1 in my subjects at school and number 1 on the honor role at University. Numbers connects to everything. From money, to age. Take it to social media and numbers can become quite the killing ground for competition, spitefulness and just pure and utter ugliness. Let me take you through a few stages, and please let me know if you concur / disagree.

Age

Does age defy who and what you are? do you think people act according to their age? Are there rules to having to accomplish certain things at a specific age? I remember playing a game with my friends when we were in high school. All of them had a strict age policy\ies and goals to achieve. The general consensus was to get married at 22, have a baby at 24 and have the second baby at 28. I remember thinking that I better conform to these thought processes or else I would look like the odd one out. Needless to say, I went against the above code. At 22, I decided it was time to explore the world. I graduated with a BA degree and at the time was not sure which field I wanted to go into, so I decided to go overseas. It was probably the best decision that I have ever made. I intended to only work for a year, but ended up staying there for SIX YEARS. I basically grew up overnight. My parents were miles and oceans away, and I had to adult. Through this experience I was able to travel the world, experience different cultures and meet some of my closest friends. At 28 I decided to return to SA, and enrolled in a post graduate  programme called PGCE. It is overseas that I realised my vocation is Teaching. I completed my PGCE and then enrolled for my Hons and my Masters after that. I met my husband at the age of 32. Tick, Tock! all my friends had kids by then and I was told how difficult it will be and how selfish I was for waiting. But I was waiting for the right person to come into my life. We got married on my 34th birthday and I fell pregnant when I was 36. Becoming a Mom at 37, was the right time for me.

Money and Status

Does your salary define your status? Well, yes it does and it does not. It defines the social class that you are in, and I guess to a certain extent it does define your status in society. We live in a society where it seems that what you drive, wear and where you eat defines the type of person that you are. Have you heard these before?  “If you drive a Mercedez, you are arrogant, if you drive a GTI, you are an attention seeker” etc. The list goes on and on. You can’t post photos of your family vacation in France, because that means you are bragging and showing off. If you’ve worked hard and established yourself, by all means enjoy your life. Life is too short to sit on a “gold mine” and not enjoy all the pleasures that life has to offer.

Social Media

Does the amount of likes and followers you have define you? For some people yes, for others like me, not at all. But I have to answer that question in two parts. When I first started blogging, I honestly did not care how many people read my posts. For me it was an outlet to find a place where I could share my journey as a first time Mom. When I wrote the post about my Post Partum Depression, I got such a lot of responses from it, and it was very overwhelming. That one single post was read by over 5000 people and it helped a lot of Moms come forward and admit that they too suffered from PPD. That is what matters to me, if my posts help one person or thousands to feel that they are not alone, then I am grateful to those numbers.

Mommy Blogger World

The second part. The Mom Blogger world is definitely a competitive one. If you thought Mean Girls was only a movie, then you have not seen grown women act like mean girls to others. I was cyber bullied a few months into blogging and starting my accounts. One of the reasons why I was bullied, was because I was told that my account came out of nowhere and gained so much interests in a short time. Numbers lead to these attacks? Numbers lead to gossiping? Numbers lead to hateful speech? Numbers lead to spreading rumors and gossiping?I remember feeling that this is not the world that I thought it would be, and I just wanted to give up. I was reminded by someone that, I am loved for who and what I am. What you see is what you get. No, I am not a professional photographer, but I have a great eye for detail and styling. Something that was my passion all these years and now, finally finding a platform to express my creativeness. Last year, I wrote a post called, Bloggers Gonna Blog. There are no rules to blogging, BUT there are intentions for blogging. If you want to start blogging, you need to ask yourself, what the purpose of it will be? and set standards that you want your blog to live up to. Are you all about the numbers? status? or are you doing it because you want to make a difference, or just simply find a place where you can just be YOU. I will write more about this at a later stage. My blog will turn a BIG FAT ONE, in September.

Numbers can make you numb

Do not let this happen to you. Do not let numbers rule your life, take control and be in control of the numbers in a positive way. If you have the means to make a difference because of numbers (your status, following on social media) do it to create a positive environment, not one where negativity and bringing shame onto others are for.